NEWS: Pete's Kick In The Balls List - June 2008

Yes that's right - here is my official 'kick in the balls' list for last month. Would I have seen any of the below people in the month of June, I would have given them a swift kick to end zone, and probably been carted off in a police car.

3. Peter David

Ah Peter Peter Peter... You took She-Hulk, you looked at Dan Slott's work, and you thought to yourself - "how can I improve on this?" Then, after you realised you didn't have any immediate ideas, you stripped her of everything fans were enjoying, and tried to recreate her from the ground up. I tip my cap to you for the attempt sir, but I kick you in the balls for the f@£k up.

2. Dan Slott

Thought you'd escaped the list after that nice little write up did you? Well think again Slott. You sir, have committed a crime deserving of the maximum sentence. Not only have you written for the abomination that is Amazing Spider-Man: Brand New Day - you've done it pretty halfheartedly. That's right - the bigger crime is not that you've changed something about the character (although a kick in the balls is the tip of the nut-shot iceberg for you on that one), it's that you've churned out work far below your own high standards. A shake of the hand for the excellent She-Hulk, and a kick to the balls for Amazing Spider-Man.

1. Dan DiDio

I really don't know where to begin with you Dan. We've had a funny old relationship you and I. I've written you letters, you've not responded, and I'm still sat here buying your comics. Comics of such 'quality' as Trinity. And Final Crisis. Comics I should be loving as a life long DC fan. But what have I got instead? Comics that I want to make paper airplanes out of. Your sir - you don't just get a kick to the balls - you get a steel toe capped Brazilian soccer player kick to the balls. Hope your voice isn't too squeaky afterwards.

REVIEW: Dean Koontz's Frankenstein - 2 of 5

So I thought I'd give something completely different a go. A style of comic that I wouldn't normally go for, from a publisher I've heard of (Dabel Brothers Publishing) but never picked up before. And so, I began to read Dean Koontz's Frankenstein issue 2...

And... I really didn't feel it.

Brett Booth's artwork reminded me of a grittier time, harking me back to the early days of Top Cow / Image Comics, stirring up happy feelings over Witchblade and numerous other titles. All good stuff - but nothing whatsoever to do with this comic. Skipping though Chuck Dixon's perfectly adequate adaptation of Dean Koontz and Kevin J. Anderson's work - I couldn't help but feel a little Final Crisis-itis coming on.

Yes, that's right - its mismatched artist / writer combination time again.

Script = good stuff.

Artwork = good stuff.

Two mixed together = mush.

Now if you took Chuck's script, and added Ben Stenbeck's artwork - then you'd be getting my cash next month. But as it currently stands... This is probably my first and last issue of Dean Koontz's Frankenstein.

Pete's Score: 3 out of 5
(adequate - but not enough to make me come back for more)

NEWS: Sadly...

You know - life is a funny old thing. And, so is reviewing comics.

I learned pretty quickly that people don't always agree with my opinions on comics. Now this is truly brilliant. Why? Because I truly love to hear people thoughts on things, and I especially like to hear them when they're different from mine. Sometimes in life, it's good to talk things over, and reassess your position on something. I might be missing a key aspect - and who better to tell me that someone who disagrees, or has a different point of view?

So - to everyone who hasn't agreed with me so far, but has taken a moment out to let me know with a comment or an email via t'interweb - thank you - your opinion was truly appreciated, and it did make me think things over.

Now having said that - sometimes you'll get a comment like the one attached to my Trinity issue one review, from 'ewewew'.

A comment that really makes you amazed at a person.

Amazed that a person who appears to be that narrow minded has the ability to understand English, and amazed that they were able to press all the right keys on a keyboard to construct a collection of 'sentences' (of sorts).

Truly - a miracle of modern education...

Now - just very quickly to address ewewew's 'point' in a post - I wasn't impressed with Trinity issue one - but it doesn't mean I hate DC.

I've read some great DC books recently (Rann-Thanagar : Holy War springs to mind), but the main comics that are being pushed under my nose (such as Countdown to Final Crisis) just aren't living up to the hype. And I'm sorry - I'm not going to hide that - I'd be doing you an injustice if I did.

Now, I'm happy to be proved wrong about DC's mainstream books. It's one of the reasons that I bought Trinity in the first place - and why I'm going to ask you all for your suggestions of DC books I should be reading.

Add a comment and let me know - what should I be reading from DC...?

REVIEW: Trinity - 1

I bought this issue to give DC's new weekly series a chance to 'wow' me, and give Dan DiDio (even though he has yet to respond) another chance with my cash. In case you're as skeptical as I was about picking this issue up - let me cut to the chase right now.

It didn't wow me in the slightest - in fact it just disappointed me in ways that I truly wasn't prepared for.

***SPOILER ALERT***

The biggest disappointment - and this is a doozy - was that the main story (featuring Bats, Supes and WW - from this point forward called 'story one') was only half the issue. That's right - midway through a short issue, enter cliffhanger moment, exit our heroes.

Which I'd now expect to be a mainstay throughout the rest of the series. Some may say I'm being harsh - but let's face it - first impressions count.

Story number one revolved around a shared dream between Bruce, Diana and Clark, and - despite a little input from Wally West - was something of a let down, with some situations and dialogue feeling poorly 'engineered'.

(for an example, see page 6 - Bruce to Clark "Ahh, Clark! Glad you could make it buddy!" - which should not be a line from the modern Batman to Superman, alter ego or no alter ego)

All that aside - what was story number two? Well, it turns out that to offer balance in the universe, a trinity of villains is coming together, consisting of Morgaine Le Fey, Enigma (who looks suspiciously like the Riddler to me), and soon - Despero.

It really comes to something when the second story in a Superman / Batman / Wonder Woman comic, containing nothing but bad guys / gals, is more interesting than the first. Yes, I know it's a setup which will probably meld into the main book in later issues, or lead up to a climactic ending 51 issues from now - but come on DC - these are your heavy hitters.

Use them.

The truly saddening thing through all of this however, is just how good Mark Bagley's artwork is. His style is, of course, very much associated to Marvel, and in particular Ultimate Spider-Man, but it's good to confirm that his talents do fit within the DCU.

It's saddening because he's been given a complete turkey as his first project. Especially saddening when you realise that his artwork, and the pencils of Fabian Nicieza are the only good aspects of the book. Kurt Busiek's script is most certainly not up to scratch.

Pete's Score: 2 out of 5
(one point for the art by Mark Bagley in the main story, and one for the art from Fabian Nicieza in the second - avoid unless a die hard Superman / Wonder Woman / Batman fan)