NEWS: Pete's Kick In The Balls List - June 2008

Yes that's right - here is my official 'kick in the balls' list for last month. Would I have seen any of the below people in the month of June, I would have given them a swift kick to end zone, and probably been carted off in a police car.

3. Peter David

Ah Peter Peter Peter... You took She-Hulk, you looked at Dan Slott's work, and you thought to yourself - "how can I improve on this?" Then, after you realised you didn't have any immediate ideas, you stripped her of everything fans were enjoying, and tried to recreate her from the ground up. I tip my cap to you for the attempt sir, but I kick you in the balls for the f@£k up.

2. Dan Slott

Thought you'd escaped the list after that nice little write up did you? Well think again Slott. You sir, have committed a crime deserving of the maximum sentence. Not only have you written for the abomination that is Amazing Spider-Man: Brand New Day - you've done it pretty halfheartedly. That's right - the bigger crime is not that you've changed something about the character (although a kick in the balls is the tip of the nut-shot iceberg for you on that one), it's that you've churned out work far below your own high standards. A shake of the hand for the excellent She-Hulk, and a kick to the balls for Amazing Spider-Man.

1. Dan DiDio

I really don't know where to begin with you Dan. We've had a funny old relationship you and I. I've written you letters, you've not responded, and I'm still sat here buying your comics. Comics of such 'quality' as Trinity. And Final Crisis. Comics I should be loving as a life long DC fan. But what have I got instead? Comics that I want to make paper airplanes out of. Your sir - you don't just get a kick to the balls - you get a steel toe capped Brazilian soccer player kick to the balls. Hope your voice isn't too squeaky afterwards.

REVIEW: Avengers: The Initiative - 14

Woah. Looks like Dan was holding out on us with issue 13... This book's a complete belter. And when you read it alongside Mighty Avengers 15... Well... Damn.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Just as The Mighty Avengers did, the Initiative issue 14 takes a look at the work of the Skrulltastic Henry "Hank" Pym, and how he's been using his connections to get other Skrulls into some highly strategic positions. Strategic positions such as - one on every single fifty-state Initiative team.

Dan Slott has done a top notch job with this issue's script, making you wonder what he was upto a month ago, and why it took a tie-in to inject a little life into the book following the original team's departure.

That minor dig aside - Stefano Caselli crafts some truly magical scenes, leaving you genuinely surprised by some sequences, and truly impressed with his stylistic accomplishments.

A marked improvement, worthy of your cash.

Pete's Score: 4 out of 5
(much better than the previous issue - worth picking up)

REVIEW: Amazing Spider-Man - 559

Oh dear. Those of you who read the Amazing Spider-Man issue 558 review will know that I wasn't overly impressed with it. In fact - I thought it was downright terrible.

And sadly - this comic doesn't go a great way towards making me feel better about Spidey's future. In fact - I'm just plain worried about it now.

Any Spider-Man book from Marvel should be, without question (at the very least), a four star book. Fans are crying out for good storylines, memorable characters, and resonating moments. Brand New Day has none of these. In fact - Brand New Day, practically eliminated the possibility if any of these, by wiping the slate clean.

Before I carry on - let's just remember the last time that the slate was wiped clean. Ben Reilly anyone? It took a lot of balls to tell the world that the Peter Parker we'd all been reading about for so many years, was in fact nothing more than a clone. Gutsy just doesn't describe it.

And possibly - it could have been good. It had a recipe for success (Peter and Mary Jane were still in the book, the comic world was 'accepting' him slowly, etc), but it got buggered up with poor standards.

If I take a step back from my previous comments about Brand New Day, and look at it objectively, this was another gutsy move by Marvel. It could gave been great. But instead, because of terrible delivery - it's becoming the bane of the Marvel Universe.

***SPOILER ALERT***

All this aside, this issue is a minor improvement on the last - focusing on Spider-Man's pursuit of ScrewBall (a villainess who streams her crimes over the internet), Peter Parker's choice to take a paparazzi assignment, and the introduction of yet another new throw away character - Paper Doll.

The scriptwork from Dan Slott is sadly anything but memorable (which is truly sad - as I am a fan of Dan's work on She-Hulk and The Thing), and the art offered by Marcos Martin leaves a lot to be desired.

Pete's Score: 2 out of 5
(if you're a fan, you might get something out of the book - but if not, this won't make you turn cartwheels)

REVIEW: Avengers: The Initiative - 12

I was left more than a little confused after reading this comic book. The one question that hung over my head, was "ok - so - has this book just ended, or is it just about to end?"

Now - I'm well aware that this comic isn't under the chop (yet), and that this is just the closing chapter on this particular team,but @£$% me if this doesn't read like a final issue.

Dan Slott has done a fantastic, bang-up job with Avengers: The Initiative. I've been hooked enough on his writing to buy all 12 issues, and I've been impressed with how he's managed to draw me into the lives of Cloud 9 and MVP. But man alive, he's dropped the ball on this issue.

The story sadly feels more than a little bit rushed, and I do dislike saying this (being an artist myself) - but the artwork just isn't up to scratch when compared to previous issues.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Some interesting points have come out of this issue however.

1. Trauma (Terry) who appeared to be killed - now looks like he's come back to life;
2. The Crusader is really a Skrull in disguise, and;
3. Slapstick can't change back to Steve Harmon (which may explain his recent erratic behaviour).

Now - that aside, because this is the ending of a story arc, it was no surprise to see a graduation of our would-be heroes from the initiative program. What was a surprise however - and huge mistake in my eyes, was how each of them learned that they would be posted to different groups around the country - essentially splitting up the core team of this book, andforcing the reader to say 'sayonara' to the characters they have grown to care about. 

Why on earth has this happened...? I'm picking this book up to read about the existing characters within it. I'm not picking this book up thinking that I want to see the trials of a new set of faces each and every year. If I wanted that - I'd be buying a DC Showcase, or a Marvel Presents comic.

This is not - and should not be - one of those comics.

Pete's Score: 3 out of 5
(a limp ending to a great year - such a shame to see the departure of so many interesting heroes) 

REVIEW: She-Hulk - 28

Peter David has had a few issues with She-Hulk now, so how is he measuring up to Dan Slott's run?

Well, Dan definitely favoured long story-arcs and subtly weaving plot devices into his books. Throughout his run on She-Hulk we would see small interesting nuggets, such as Andy's hidden crush, a shapeshifter hidden in plain sight, and many others - most of which seemed to be going somewhere pretty clear.

Peter's run however... Let's just say that there isn't anything wrong with it - but there doesn't seem to be much right with it either. I'm certainly not getting the same feeling of 'direction' from Pete that Dan would give to his readers, and am left feeling as though I'm almost reading a different character altogether.

Now - some might say it's a bit harsh to compare these two writers, as they both have very different styles. Peter's style has always seemed to be more action orientated than Dan's, but Dan's style was sometimes so dense with plot it would make the series harder for new readers to get into (you really got the most out of his writing only if the book was on your pull list each month).

But what of issue 28?

***SPOILER ALERT***

This issue finds She-Hulk in prison (again), with more questions asked about the seemingly immortal Jazinda, who 'dies' (again) in this issue chasing down Bran Murphy, the man responsible for the series' previous bomb attack.

Sound a little familiar?

It should do - this issue could have easily be a carbon copy of the one right before it, containing much of the same set pieces and questions.

I hate to say it - but I did get the impression that Peter kind of... 'Phoned this one in'...

Pete's Score: 3 out of 5

(doesn't really feel like it's going anywhere - but interesting to see a Skrull out in the open...)