NEWS: Pete's Kick In The Balls List - June 2008

Yes that's right - here is my official 'kick in the balls' list for last month. Would I have seen any of the below people in the month of June, I would have given them a swift kick to end zone, and probably been carted off in a police car.

3. Peter David

Ah Peter Peter Peter... You took She-Hulk, you looked at Dan Slott's work, and you thought to yourself - "how can I improve on this?" Then, after you realised you didn't have any immediate ideas, you stripped her of everything fans were enjoying, and tried to recreate her from the ground up. I tip my cap to you for the attempt sir, but I kick you in the balls for the f@£k up.

2. Dan Slott

Thought you'd escaped the list after that nice little write up did you? Well think again Slott. You sir, have committed a crime deserving of the maximum sentence. Not only have you written for the abomination that is Amazing Spider-Man: Brand New Day - you've done it pretty halfheartedly. That's right - the bigger crime is not that you've changed something about the character (although a kick in the balls is the tip of the nut-shot iceberg for you on that one), it's that you've churned out work far below your own high standards. A shake of the hand for the excellent She-Hulk, and a kick to the balls for Amazing Spider-Man.

1. Dan DiDio

I really don't know where to begin with you Dan. We've had a funny old relationship you and I. I've written you letters, you've not responded, and I'm still sat here buying your comics. Comics of such 'quality' as Trinity. And Final Crisis. Comics I should be loving as a life long DC fan. But what have I got instead? Comics that I want to make paper airplanes out of. Your sir - you don't just get a kick to the balls - you get a steel toe capped Brazilian soccer player kick to the balls. Hope your voice isn't too squeaky afterwards.

NEWS: Britain is filled full of superheroes

There I was - sitting on the sofa in front of the tv, reading the latest issue of Top Gear (180 - July 2008), when lo and behold - what do I find on page 86...?



Great Britain. Making superheroes since the early 40s, and banging them up ever since...

REVIEW: The Amazing Spider-Man - 557

As I write this blog, after a (very) hard day's work - I find myself slumped in my chair, reflecting on the finer things in life.

Finer things such as the smile on my girlfriend's face in the morning, or the smell of freshly cut grass.

And this evening, one of those finer things - is this comic.

Readers of my Blogger posts will have already seen my opinions on issue 555 and 556 of The Amazing Spider-Man - but to summarise them quickly - I liked 'em a lot. Which surprised me greatly, as I hate the idea of Brand New Day (it just doesn't cut the mustard for me, especially as it left so many unanswered questions).

But - having had a quick rant about the overall story-arc - what of this particular book?

***SPOILER ALERT***

When last we left Spidey, he'd realised that Dr. Rabin had pulled the old 'bait and switch' on him - not in fact sending him to rescue the 'kidnapped' researchers - but rather lead a Mayan God of mischief directly to them...

Oh - and let's not forget that Carlie was in a pretty pickle, having just watched Rabin sacrifice one of three good Mayans - trying to avert catastrophe. 

Issue 557 nicely ties up this particular storyline with Spidey bouncing around a snow covered New York, desperately in search of help to defeat a God who can bend space and time to his advantage (there are a couple of particularly well drawn moments where a fist or a staff carry from one moment in time [or panel] to another).

Suffice to say - Spidey gets help and (kind of) saves the day - but it doesn't come from anyone you'd expect...

So - thoughts about the comic. Damn good - no - excellent artwork from Chris Bachalo, with a spotless script to match by Zeb Wells. Reading the book was a joy from start to finish, and has certainly been the best thing to come from Brand New Day so far.

Get shot of Brand New Day, bring in Same Old Day and get Zeb and Chris on it. It'd be brilliant.

Pete's Score: 4 out of 5

(fantastic book - the best Brand New Day work so far by a mile)

REVIEW: The Amazing Spider-Man - 556

***SPOILER ALERT***

Great news! This issue didn't suck either! Two issues in a row of quality Amazing Spider-Man. After the past couple of months (see my previous post) - I feel positively spoilt.

Again - Chris Bachalo's artwork was perfect for the story, the script was well written by Zeb Wells - and I even found myself letting out the odd chuckle as old Spidey bounced his way through the book.

Aside from picking up just where the last issue left off (Spider-Man braving the cold to search for kidnap victims tied up in a van), we meet a homeless man who's certain that S.H.E.I.L.D. are out to get him, bump into another creature of the cold, and meet up with Carlie Cooper, who advances the 'Peter Parker's new life' sub-story. Carlie alsomanages to stumble across someone she shouldn't have while working late - giving us the book's cliffhanger ending (which will lead into 557).

Overall - I hate to say it - but I'd be hard pressed not to recommend both this book and the one before it to new Spider-Man readers.

However. My opinion on Brand New Day totally stands. Get shot of the Brand New Day. Give me Same Old Day instead!

Pete's Score: 4 out of 5

(I want to despise it - but I just can't - they've done too good a job on it)

REVIEW: The Amazing Spider-Man - 555

***SPOILER ALERT***

Well it's about Bl**dy time. I've been following the Spider-Man line of books since Civil War (and on and off way before that) - but one thing has really been bugging me of late.

There's just no direction whatsoever to Brand New Day. Well - let me correct that - there's no obvious direction to Brand New Day. For the past two months I've read some of (and this may seem harsh - but remember - it's just my opinion) the worst Spider-Man stories in years.

The 'Back In Black' storyline that followed hot on the heels of Civil War was (at least in the Amazing book) - gripping. What was going to happen to Mary Jane and Aunt May, now that Peter was an outlaw? Would their lives be forever shaken? How could he keep his family safe, after fighting to hide their identities from his enemies for so long?

It truly was wonderful to read. And a hugely bold step for Marvel - doing the unthinkable in permanently changing the life of their most popular character. Or so it seemed.

In reality - it appears that Brand New Day was planned all along. Which I suppose is okay - but I can't help feeling as though I (and everyone else reading Amazing Spider-Man) have been cheated out of what could have been the defining era in Spider-Man history. A man with his family on the line - a roster of evil villains after them from one corner of the Marvel universe to the other - Peter Parker, unable to protect them.

But no. Instead, the Marvel universe (seemingly) got mind-wiped by Mephisto - we're back to year zero, Harry Osborn is alive, Mary Jane isn't married to Peter, the Daily Bugle has been bought and turned into the DB - and I'm about ready to put my fist through the next thing I see.

Not because it's a bad concept. Not because I've been cheated out of good stories. Because the past two months have all been passable attempts at Spider-Man stories - worth of 3 out of 5 scores - at the very most.

But anyway - that brings you up to speed on where I am with Spider-Man at the moment.

This particular book however...

This book - is good.

And I think it's good because it's a story that could have existed in either universe. It's just a damn good Wolverine and Spider-Man story - with funny one-liners and great artwork. And that's exactly what Spider-Man has needed to be for the past two months...! A damn good read. I just hope the next issue keeps it up.

Zeb Wells and Chris Bachalo - I tip my cap to you both.

Pete's Score: 4 out of 5

(very surprised at how much I enjoy the comic - want to dislike it because of the Brand New Day link - but can't)